Setting Your Standards High!
We put a lot of thought into relationships, from date ideas and tips to trying to figure out “what they meant when they said…?” But your relationships with others will be greatly improved if you take the time to think about your preferences in dating, and what are the standards that you have. Are your standards high enough, or are you selling yourself short?
It’s a case of ‘know yourself’. Know your preferences – understand what you like, expect and accept from others. It always comes down to your standards. Do you have a clear image of what they are? Do you always know what you’re looking for in a relationship, or do you just follow the pattern so many people have, the ‘that’ll do attitude’…
The “That’ll Do” Attitude
This is a key trap that many people fall into that holds back their relationships and friendships, sometimes for years. It’s almost an attitude of “I’ll take what I can get, because I don’t want / I’m too scared to try for something more” – people can get into this mindset in all areas of their life, and relationships are no exception.
This type of thinking often stems from a lack of confidence. A lack of belief that people can do better than they’re currently doing. You may be surprised if I tell you that this type of thinking is actually more common in men rather than women. However, for both men and women, the amount of damage this type of thinking can do is often massive.
The two main thoughts that lead to this:
1 – ‘Well, I’ve already got a partner… and they’re OK I suppose… so why risk losing everything on someone new?’
2 – ‘I’m not happy where I am, but I’m too afraid to step out and take a chance – to go after what I really want.’
Both very challenging mindsets right? Well by taking a look at your preferences, these thoughts can be put out of your mind, so that you can avoid the problems this type of thinking can cause.
The Problems “That’ll Do” Can Lead To:
Being in a relationship that you’re not completely invested in, is not something that’s easy to hide. Sooner or later your partner would start to notice that you don’t really want to work on the relationship, and maybe all your time and energy that is being invested is actually being wasted instead.
Also, it’s not fair on either person if someone is pretending that they’re happy in the relationship if they really aren’t. It would be better to simply say that you’re both looking for different things, and end the relationship rather than staying in a romance that could be very unstable and come to an end unexpectedly.
What Are Your Standards In Dating?
So, lets take a look at your preferences, and how much attention you should be paying to your standards.
Yes for men it’s no shock that appearance plays a big part, so are you looking for women that mesh with your image of your perfect girlfriend? Or are you simply going to bars and clubs hoping to find a woman “that’ll do” for just now?
For women, are the men you’re attracting fitting the ideal personality you want in a man? If not, are you going to the wrong places to meet men? Or (and often even more importantly), are you giving out the wrong kind of impression when you do meet men that makes them see you in a different light to how you really are as a person?
The more you know about your preferences, the better equipped you’ll be to keep your standards high and your relationships more fulfilling.
So to really get to know your own territory, ask yourself these questions and, ideally, find the time to write down the answers:
- What kind of behavior do you accept in others?
- What would you never accept?
- Do you have strong, clear goals in life, and are those around you helping you reach them?
- Do you often talk to people who share your sense of humor, and views in general?
- And if you don’t, could you cut back on the time you spend with others who don’t encourage and motivate you?
- What kind of behavior do you find appropriate?
- What is never appropriate to you?
- Where would you most likely meet your ideal partner?
- How much time do you spend their currently?
- What could you change in your life so you’d be be able to spend more time there, and have more chance connecting with your ideal partner?
After you’ve come up with your answers, it might be a bit of an eye-opener… are you going to places where you’d meet this kind of person just now? Or are you going out in the usual haunts just because it’s what all your friends are doing, and you don’t want to step out of your comfort zone and go hunting for your ideal partner?
Like everything, changing your behavior, altering your patterns, raising your standards – are all things that at the beginning might seem a little scary. But if you really invest some energy into structuring your life so that the people you spend time with are more on your level, and you’re more likely to have a meaningful relationship with – I’m sure you’ll wonder why you didn’t do this sooner!
Oh, and since you’ll be looking to date these new, amazing people who come into your life and really wow them with your imagination, check out this guide for 300 great date ideas! I’m sure that with 300 ideas and great dates under your belt for use, not only will you be bringing quality people into your life, you’ll find it very easy to keep them there too!
Click Here to see if these 300 great date ideas catch your eye, I think you’ll be very pleasantly surprised by the selection! 🙂