Immature Relationship – Dating A ‘Child’

If you’ve ever felt ‘stuck’ in an immature relationship, you’ll know just how frustrating this can be. With nothing getting done between you, or not feeling like you’re moving forward with anything – does this sound familiar? If it does, chances are that you or your partner could have been playing the role of the ‘child’ archetype in the relationship.

We started looking at archetypes a few weeks ago, starting with the parent group. So now, lets go to the opposite end of the spectrum – with the child! This group is a toughy, because being around a child-like person when they’re in a good mood can be very fun – but being around them if they’re in a bad mood can be a nightmare.

It’s All Childs Play!

The child archetype, as you would probably expect, is more happy and energetic than any other group. They can be described as being very ‘in touch’ with their inner child and are always ready to have fun in almost any situation.

But, there’s also the flip-side of this because, like any child, these people often try to run away from responsibility of any kind, and the pressures of making decisions. The main goal with the child is to be loved and protected by others, and they’ll modify their behaviour to get their needs met in any way possible.

What Are The Best Traits?

The best quality that people in the child group have, is that they often have a very natural, fun vibe about them, no matter what they’re doing. And since they’re often looking to have fun, these people are very good at cheering others up, even if that person is in a bad mood to begin with.

Also, this type of person can also be very persuasive. This trait maybe isn’t as obvious as their ‘good fun’ desire but when you think about it, it does make sense – they are very good at putting their own points across in an argument, often in search of feeling appreciated (or even to be forgiven if they have done something wrong) which means they don’t always seek out arguments, but can do well in situations where they do come up.

Negative Traits Of ‘The Child’

Being indecisive is the child archetypes main flaw – they just don’t like to make decisions. As you’d expect, this can create a lot of tough situations in a relationship. There are a lot of reasons why people might be indecisive, but in this case it’s often linked back to responsibility – if someone never makes a decision about something, they can never be held accountable if it doesn’t pan out the way it should. Again they can be spared from losing any love and approval from others because whatever happened wasn’t their fault was is? Someone else “made” the decision.

They are also quite good at being persuasive. Yes, I know this was also listed as a positive trait, but this is one of those double edged swords. Being persuasive can be a good thing, it can mean that they come across very clearly and can show other people where and how they’re right in their thinking, but it can also be used negatively – in a means to manipulate other people. They also often have an overwhelming desire to be loved, protected and even forgiven by others, making an honest relationship hard to maintain.

What You Should Expect From ‘The Child’

Positives:

  • Always looking to have fun and have a generally optimistic vibe about them
  • Are good at cheering other people up, even if they’re in a bad mood to start with
  • Good at putting their points across in an argument – can make many good cases for their beliefs

Negatives:

  • Poor decision making abilities, never like to be in the wrong for anything
  • Have a desire to be loved, forgiven, cared for and protected by others (not a simple task!)
  • Can be manipulative in cases where they feel they are losing affection
  • Downward cycles of being insecure, arrogant, needy and inconsiderate are common and very difficult to get out of

What To To Be Aware Of If YOU Are Dating ‘A Child’:

  • Don’t like to make decisions and will often look to you for advice and which option to choose
  • They can get stuck in a cycle of needing more and more attention from you
  • Can find it difficult to trust you, and can often be jealous or over protective of you and your time

What ‘A Child’ Could Do To Improve Their Relationships:

  • Notice when manipulation is becoming part of an argument, and eliminate this behaviour when necessary
  • Take up a new hobby, and start doing other things to help them to mature and take on responsibility
  • Realise that making decisions is an important part of life and relationships, whether the outcome is good or bad, learning to make more choices is always a good thing
  • If they feel like they’re starting to use other people unethically, take note of this and take action to fix things with that person

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